OK. I have decided. Clear notes rock. They will be made of a special anti-bacterial, anti-virus material, that is clear and pure, so note handlers will not fall sick easily.

Also, I am now researching on the Constitutions of various Sovereign countries (i.e. UK, Singapore, US), and may try to draft the Lame Isles Constitution. Though I'll probably be half-dead by the time I finish writing the whole thing. LOL.

Also, can I safely say that all of Lame Isles is against bootlicking? Cause I want to start a petition against bootlicking, but all the petitions online are like so serious, eg. addressed to the US Congress, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush etc. And I don't even know where we should send the petition to. LAme LaME.

Yup. And Lame ISles is praying for MR Jordian Tan and all other people taking their O Level MT paper today.

well i actually had the thought of writing the essay. but since, like most other contest, the organisers are not allowed to take part. so i shall kindly excuse myself from it. (juz an excuse to not write it). after all i only scored 18/25 for english MYE 'addiction' essay. geez dat muz haf scuked.

n i m fine wif clear dollar. wadeva the president says...haha

Good evening Lamers and Friends,

So sorry that I have not been able to blog recently. This is due to a terrorist attack on my Presidential Computer.

Anyway, I am communicating via Jeremy's computer. I just wish to say that since we cannot decide on what colours our currency should be, and that since our republic is secular (is this how you use the word), we should not have anything that is representing only one race or religion. So, why not have clear notes?
Anyway, stay lame people. Spread the spirit of Lamerism. Do you know that now, Lame Isles is beginning to gain recognition in 301? Lame Isles rocks!

hmmm....mr tan u juz had to put the word 'cum' in your entry rite. nvm. not like the speak clean n lame stuff campaign is being strictly enforced here in lame isles. issit? anyway i support yellow dollar. coz black dollar can b quite hard to find in ur wallet especially if it is also black. juz my little point of view. n once we haf decided we will get it listed n then sum unternational currency organisation will value our lame isles treasury and den sumhow wee can find out the conversion rate.

and as for the $1.01 that we haf i m sad to say it has not grown yet. howeva the price of the UOL share has gone up $0.03. bringing it from $2.45 to $2.48. dat is quite gd progress... we can sell it and earn sum profit. but perhaps i should go pluck more dollars from the money tree. off i go den...byez

hmm seems like no1 has posted anything here for quite sum times since after the MYE. so i shall say smth. n hopefully will not b considered slack.

announcement!

the great president eahy has juz declared to the world currency union dat 0 black dollar is 1 singapore dollar. dominic nalpon pointed out to him dat 0 black dollar could also b worth 10 sing, or 100, or 1000. i dun noe exactly wad does this mysteriously black dollar has got to do wif Lame Isles. but i would tink dat it is definitely smth serious. i would leave it to the president to tell u all more abt it

n as for the treasury progress i m glad to announce that we haf earned a little bit of interest. remember the one very big dollar note in my office. a 1 cent coin suddenly appeared nex to it dis morn. so we now haf $1.01. wont the citizens b proud 2 haf sum1 as responsible as me. haha. lolz.

making one of my "hopefully-as-enriching-as-the-presidents" speeches again. well, since most of the OC has decided that trying to cheat the stupid Thais would be harder than they thot. n sports is not of primary importance in a great society like Lame Isles, we shall now redirect most of our funds ($2.45) to investing in UOL. the rest of our funds (one very big dollar) shall be nicely framed up in the office of the greatest treasurer and secretary of Lame Isles history ever. ahem ahem...y do i haf a strange feeling that it is refering to me.

this message will take effect as of the blardy time you see below dis message

Words of the National Treasurer of Lame Isles,
National Secretary of Lame Isles,
Mayor of East Lame Isles,
BlazingWinter aka Sean

It's really touching to know that my speech has drawn so much attention from people around the world...

The President's Live Nation Address

A very good afternoon to everybody present today, as Lame Isles grows, I find it inevitable to give such boring yet Lame speeches. These speeches concern not just one or two of you, but all of you here in the Lame Isles Portal, whether as Official Lamers in your offices, or warmly-welcomed visitors to our humble Islands. Today, I wish to touch on several matters that are very crucial now, to our country's growth and progress.

Firstly, the new appointment to office of Mr Jordian Tan, out National Political Advisor, and the new office that Mr Sean Lee will head, the National Treasury. Firstly, Mr Tan. Mr Tan has been with us for less than a week. However, I must praise his contribution of ideas to improving Lame Isles, as highly commendable. I urge each and everyone of you to follow Mr Tan's enthusiasm in his work and his commitment to his nation. I have decided, after long consideration, that Lame Isles should indeed follow Mr Tan's advice, and invest in stocks. And this brings me to Mr Sean Lee, our newly-appointed National Adviser. I am pleased to announce that as of this morning, our treasury has put together all the money in Lame Isles, adding up to a grand total of $3.45. I am not too sure where he got this from, so I'm actually quite amazed that we actually have enough money to buy one share UOL. In response to Sean's proposal that we buy over 35.01% of Liverpool, I must say that I personally feel that Property Investments will bring in more profits, so I feel that we should buy a new castle. After all, my Presidential Palace is too small to hold distinguished guests if they all come to Lame Isles for an International Conference. I wish, also, to commend on Mr Gan Wei Yi's excellent performance as Blogging Minister. As for Mr Gan's suggestions that we should invest and take over the SJI Board of Governors, I request that Mr Tan should look into the matter and formulate a plan for us to take over SJI, and help it to achieve its vision to be a World-class Lasallian Institution.

However, there are, or should I say were, some of us who were not so committed to this great nation. I must say, this is very sad. You know who you are, but please do not take it to heart. What I want to say here, is that if anyone of you want to pursue the career of being a Lamer, I urge you to consider very carefully, before you approach us to call for a Parliament session to vote for your admission to Lame Isles. To Mr Lee Shen Yang, our ex-Security Chief, if you are hearing this, I wish you all the best in your future, and hope that in future, Lame Isles may be able to work with you, if you wish, on Security Projects.

Next, onto our Security issues. I have decided that Security is quite a great concern here in Lame Isles. Yes, we are in an unplottable location, perhaps somewhere on this planet, in the Great Pacific Ocean, in a volcano, or maybe even on Mars. However, Security is not something that we should take for granted. It is something that we are blessed with, and we have to take care of it very carefully. Well, at least we are no longer in the Indian Oceans, so the threats from Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam are just empty threats that we do not need to worry about. At this point, I would like to add that I am honestly quite flattered that even people from Sri Lankan Tamil Tigers are taking time off from their fighting to visit the Lame Isles OC. However, I feel that we still have to appoint a Security Chief, and since all our Lamers are already burdened with so many Official Duties, I have decided that we are in need of more people to join our nation.

This bring us to our next point, which is the Bootlicking Essay competition. So far, we are very pleased that two people, Justin and Nicole, have actually taken their time off to write their essays and join this competition. We are moved by their sincerity, and will consider taking them in to Lame Isles. However, I must add that the competition is still not over and anyone can still submit their entries to lameisles@hotmail.com.

Lastly, I would like to end this speech by commenting that 80% of our Lamers are now active in the Lame Isles OC. The 20% is made up of Mr Evan Yeo, our Foreign Minister, who is excused as his computer is down. With this, I would like to end this speech with these wise words: Visit Lame Isles more often, and you'll see great miracles!

well the newly-elected treasurer has got to make his say here today. after watching the liverpool vs newcastle match yesterday night. i haf decided that we should invest our money not in stocks, not in education (dis is a total waste of time anw, juz let dis ministry die down), but in sports. in particular soccer. all the liverpool fans out there....give me a yeah....LIVERPOOL SUPPORTERS: "YEAHHHH!!!" so i haf concluded dat since thailand has invested 30% on liverpool we should invest 35.01%. according to my VERY VERY VERY complicated calculations we would b the highest shareholder of liverpool and we can import them from england and of course into EAST lame isles (my part of the islands, not the WEST lame isles). or we can always import them as our national team. how abt dat mr president. i would send my proposal via 'contact me' on the right of this message. (u noe that box there on the rite dat the blogging manager created)

n we can also haf a national chess team. comprising of our very own well-trained chess grandmaster mr evan yeo min yang, also the foreign minister. hmmm maybe i will get him to talk to the ambassador of thailand. ask the gullible thais to sell us liverpool at a cheaper price

Buy a few shares? U said a few?? Mr Jordian Tan, Why not just buy up all the shares available? 49% rite? anyway we can afford what, then it should be profitable. Oh, and Mr Sean Lee Kien Fatt will be our treasurer. Sean, quick go and pick all the money from the money trees around LAme Isles and put them in the treasury. Yah. Then give to Mr Tan to bid for the shares.

PS. I decided that since Mr Jordian Tan say he can cook, we can film a show for Lame Isles Cable TV Ch. 533, Cooking Planet: If Tan can cook, so can you.

Ok Mr NPA. Give me the details. How much the other pple r offering, the company's networth and stuff, then i'll check with the treasury and get back to you.

Hmm...very good suggestions u have. concentrating on education is a good idea. lots of reform need there ya.

oops...my sincere apologies (like real)...to Mr Jordian TAN. He is not yan cuz he carn cook. yah. anyway, u shldn't feel so touched really. cuz u haf a lot of work to be done!!! submit ur report on what policies u think we should take in the following areas:
1.education
2.media
3.tourism
4.economy
5.currency
6.transport
7......
10044.language
10045.trade unions

The full list has been mailed to ur official lame isles residence.

Your loving (evil and Hitler-like) President,
eahy :)

Hey pple. Go to my blog and read Toilet Paper Tales. It's really nice. I mean, it's written by me what. Ahem. AHem. Okay. Whatever, just go read.

Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome Mr Jordian Yan Pei Yuan to Lame Isles. As National Political Advisor, he will be in charge of advising the Parliment on our National Policies, both domestic and foreign. Because of him, Lame Isles' human population has grown by 20%.

Now, I am filled with grief as I announce that, with effect from 0000hrs 14 May 2004 (Lame Isles Time, LIT), Lame Isles will cease to exist in the Indian Ocean, but will be shifted to a secret and unplottable location. I now take this opportunity to thank all the puffer fishes and resources of the Indian Ocean that we have used for the past few months. Thank you very much to all you lovely fishes (Starts to shed a fake tear and shake hands with puffy, the king of puffer fishes).

Ahem. However, visitors will still go through the same procedure if they wish to enter Lame Isles: simply contact any of the Lamers and we will make the neccessary arrangements.

Thank you.

CODED: PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Greg (creator of the Tag Board),

Lame Isles is grateful for your continuous support for our country, and forgives you for this minor hard disk problem. Don't worry cause Lame Isles always experiences this sort of problems too, with our ahem, computer chief Wei Yi, who is always setting fire to our hard disks. ahem. Don't tell anyone. ahem.

Attention all Lamers.

to start things off, i would like to thank my father and my mother for giving birth to me so that i can study for this horrifying MYE. my heartfelt gratitude also goes to St. John Baptist De La Salle for forming the LaSallian Brothers n giving me a damn blardy school where I can study. Thanks to all my fellow friends who follow me with every day I am closer to death. Thanks to my dog for never talking to me but always shedding fur and making me get scolded for not combing him. And finally thanks to wei yi for yelling at me and forcing me to write this so that you all can bored yourself and die of over-lameness while reading this entry.

Thank you and have a nice day and remember to thank your father and mother for giving birth to you so that u can study. Now get lost and wait for someone to find u. Chillzzz?

Not private or confidential:

Hey Mr Gan,

had a great laugh reading those stuff on the website. Don't care for the dogs cuz they are wild. gotta go mug. bye.

Dear Mr Gan,

That's why I mentioned we have skilled chef....me! I can cook lotsa stuff. Like today, I toasted my own bread. Then milked the cow, and made butter and cheese. Then stuff the butter and cheese in the cow and roast, I mean in the bread. Stuff the butter and cheese in the bread and Toast

Dear Mr Gan,

I am deeply touched by your concern. Don't worry, I haven't bie(2) lai(2) wu(2) yang(4) yet. Yet. Yup. Don't you know:Puffer fish's poison can be removed by skilled chefs. But i must stress on the word 'skilled'. Yah.


Anyway, I wish to tell all citizens and supporters of Lame Isles to mug hard and do well for their Mid Years, yeah!

Hey Wei Yi....the arts is under you but entrance to Lame Isles is still under my control....okay lah....let's not be so power hungry and attention seeking and wateva unlike some pple....u noe hu....oh yah....do u noe tt puffer fish is very nice? i just caught one of the West Lame Isles Shore yesterdae...yummy!!

Presidential Decree 001

I would like to add on to Wei Yi's decree. That was a 'Senior Decree'. As will the decrees by Sean and Shen Yang. Evan's will be 'Ultra Senior' Decree, one level above 'Senior'. Mine will obviously Presidential Decree, the superior Decree that is able to overwrite all other decrees. Cheers.

Presidential Decree 002

Wei Yi will be judging the 'Boots' Competition. However, being the President and the Official Exam Question Setter, I, Eugene Ang, will reserve the right to make the final decision. Cheers

This message was brought to you by the President's Office in the Capital.