-cough-
Dearest lame lame officials of lame isle and dearest lame president of lame isle n not to forget the dearest lame supporters of lame isle, haelo...Im the new lame minister for lame defense. Yes yes.

Well not really sure wad my job is but im sure it has smth to do with defense...yea...shld b. But with no cars with long noses or ani thing offensive other than our wonderful paper plane force (PPF), wad can we do? Our lamerism is the thing. Lor. With the recent peace path we've made wif the new nation, legion of lameness aka LOL, im confident to sae tt lame isle will still b safe for residential purposes as well as open for tourism and as well as others others more. But still, tts no reason we can slacken on our nation's defense. No plans have been formulated yet to be made as a permanent layer of defense but still, our temporary layer is us, and of course, with our lamerism as weapons. We shall lame those who attacks us to death.

Also, the post 'chief of armed forces' is still vacant at this present moment. Those who want this post, please write an essay on 'wad can u do to protect lame isle?' and hand it up to our lame president ASAP becuase i really need someone to help walk the tanks and feed the planes. Not more than a page long please.

Thats all. Hail lame isle.
*note If u dun understd what the heavens am i trying to sae, its alrite cause cows will b flying now if u do.

man...im ask to write a post for today super lame x-country.

ha..

k.here goes..

It was a hot and sunny day. Then the black clouds started coming and got everyone's hopes high that the x-country would be cancelled. But due to some enthusiastrhic people who like x-country so much and prayed with all their heart, i believe god was touched and told the clouds to move away.

b4 the race started, the lamers of lame isles decided to run in a group from the back.  but they ended up starting from the middle. lol. hmm..and eahy wanted me to say this out.

THOSE WHO BLOCKED OUR WAY, LAME ISLES CURSED YOU WITH THE LAME CURSE WHERE YOU SHALL BE CONDEMNED TO BE UN-LAME FOR LIFE!

ok..thats bout all..im wasting my breath out here..lol..shall go play a bit b4 sleeping...sigh..

 

Sigh. Looks like i have been inactive for quite a while. I guess i should make known of my existence or else i would be just a wandering ghost int he alleys of lame isles. Just last saturday, Sji held the kindred spirit which was attended by many people, both young and old, and of both sexes. It was held so that Sji could raise funds for the Alzeimer's disease patients. looks like we could achieve that as majority of the seating seems full to me.

However, the show was of a particularly different thing. Those seating at the 3 blocks of seats downstairs, i'm sure most of you had a great time.  For the unfortunate few who sat up in the gallery like me, i guess the atmoshpere was one of sadness and heartbreak.

Interested to know what happened?

Well.

Here goes.

There was once this young little couple who fell in love at first sight. However, their ending was not as happy as fairy tales described most to be. They borke up one day for some apparent reason which i have not the slightest idea about. Fate it seems, decided that the cruel wheel of chances be turned. It so happens, that on the day of kindred spirit, she met her ex-lover, in the playfully touching another girl.  (Everyone is supposed to feel disgusted)

Basically, she cried non-stop all the way to the interval where she left to find solace at home. 

And guessed what, i couldn't concentrate on the performences. Sigh.

But actually that was not the main thing. Cause fate again it seems was cruel to me for the second time. And obviously i shall not write about my private life here. lol. So have fun guessing for all those faithful guess-ers of the Gossip Channel.

Thats about all i have to say. Justin...OUT!

Hail Lamerism it shall be then and %&*$#@ Lameness. A little crude but sometimes vulgarities like $%&@^ or %^*$@!& or @#$%^& is required in our daily lives. I hope that those faint hearted people have not fainted yet.

Very busy in my office these few days. I believe that I would be the person that would be negotiating with Andrew Tanoto most often these few days.

This is an Official Statement from the Black House in West Lame Isles:

A BLACKout occured at 1754 hrs on 21 July 2004 in the Afghan District of West Lame Isles. This caused a total darkness of 3 seconds. The emergency backup power supply came on. However, it is not enough to supply out Internet users. Therefore, Mayor Gan Wei Yi will be unavailable and will not be present for the next few days.

Justin, the gossiper, is currently on a foreign mission to Hawaii. He will be communicating via his wireless laptop. He is currently investigating the cause of the Blackout, which preliminary reports show is due to the erruption of a Hawaiian volcano which spilt out ham and pineapples.

We also would like to announce a new recruitment to the Black House, which is called, Andrew Tanoto. He is a foreign scientist who has been sent by the Indonesian Government to help Lame Isles develop our Research and Development in Classified Technology.

This is an Official Statement from the Clear House on Executive Island, Central Lame Isles:

I am very proud announce that Lame Isles has finished the construction of the LIN (Lame Isles Navy) Trustworthy, a 100 m by 20m Aircraft Carrier. It will be docked in out President's Harbour in South Central Lame Isles until the need for it to go to battle arises. Patrolling our seas in Lame Isles is the Torpedo Boat LIN Loyalty, that was given to use by out Supporters.

We are also happy to announce that we now have two planes, one, the C-123 that is capable of precision bombing of 1mm accuracy. The other plane the LI-01, or the Religious Harmony Plane. The reason behind the name is simple: It is entirely of materials from the Card that was given out today. Once again, these are gifts from our Supporters.

Yet another annoucement. The MOLA (Ministry of Lame Affairs) and Defence Ministry, headed by Justin and Binni respectively, will now be situated on neighbouring islands in Central Lame Isles. This because I have learnt from this great Country, Singapore, where Mindef and Home Affairs is coming together to fight terrorism. I mean, terrorists work from both in and outside of your country, so it's quite hard to say who's in charge. So in this way, MOLA and DefMin will be able to communicate easily and work together efficiently to protect our Home.

Lastly, Lame Isles is currently opening up two more places in our Government. We need an Economic Advisor and a Chief of Armed Forces. So far, potential candidates include Joseph and Shaun. They will be watched 24 hours a day by Secret Service Goblins which will report to the President, who will then discuss with Parliment on whether or not to accept them.

I hereby declare, with the support of 2 other ministers, that Mr Binni will now be our Defence Minister. Thank you. Hail Lamerism!

Lame Isles National Day 2004
Presidential Address

Good day to you, fellow Lamers, friends and supporters. I composed this speech in my head, but wrote it down lest I forgot this during my address. Firstly, I would like to welcome you to our first every Lame Isles National Day Celebration. Now, our National Day is different from the National Days and Independence Days for other countries. In our great Nation, we have both a National Day and a Founding Day, which we have yet to find the date. On our Founding Day, we remember our history and the birth of our nation. On National Day however, we thank God for out present, and hope for a good future. For those do not already know this, our National Day is the average of all our birthdays. Therefore, we celebrate the citizens of Lame Isles, and the contributions of both Lamers and supporters. I would also like to thank Blogger, MSN Messenger, Hotmail.com, Singtel, Starhub, M1, and other relavant service providers, for their continuing help to the hosting of our Official Chronicles, and the spreading of Lamerism. I also wish to urge one and all of our supporters to pledge their genuine love for our unique Federated islands, by investing their money in our Lame Isles Bank, Lame Isles Corp. and the other companies listed on our new stock exchange, the Lame Isles Stock Exchange (LISE). All who wish to join, or do business with Lame Isles can also contact anyone of us Lamers. Lame Isles is proud to boast of a great environment to Live, Work and Play! With this, I thank you all for joining in our celebrations, and urge you to continue your support for Lamerism. Hail Lamerism and Happy National Day!

Dear fellow lamers,

Happy Lameisles National Day!

now..can anyone fill me in on anything special that's happening today?

Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, Weiyi ninjas has saved justin from the evil computer. He has now become un-addicted to games. He has decided to blog again. Upon arriving back to lame isles, he found out some abusers of his poll. Further investigations has proven MiniDino(Tagname) guilty of abusing the system. Thus, the penalty will be that anyone whom knows whoever he is gets to kick him real hard in the arse.

Now, to more serious matters. The situation to the minipolls have been salvaged. I know what to do already if ANY OTHER ABUSERS wants to destroy this piece of hard work and effort our poor justin has done for us. ( in other words, ME. )

And, whoever with itchy fingers went and messed up the blog template, i have a phrase that i would like to quote from my A/E maths teacher to you, "Burn un HEll." and if you thought hell did not exist, well, this is what the brother of my school said, "Hell DOes exist". So yes, i'm sure u smart alexs' out there can figure out the consequences yourself.

Back to more light-hearted isses, anyone from SJI or anyone i know personally likes AYUMI HAMASAKI (that slut) and BoA (that snake from Korea) , can come to me, i just ripped off songs off people who paid their allowances to buy. So, i'm here to distibute pirated goods. Yes. I know its illegal. But, i'm the law, thus, the law allows piracy here. Have fun in lame isles. Any doubts about how the law works, just ring the mental institution. I'm sure they'll be glad to have another patient who just lacks a brain.

Good evening Lamers. Thanks Wei Yi so much for putting up te template again. But if you had read my Decleration of Peace message carefully, you would have noticed that posts and titles can only be given out with approval of the President and the Minister of Lame Affairs. If Nicole wishes to be known as the first lady to join our great nation, so be it. But honestly, the first man sounds stupid. Absolutely dumb. Might as well call me the first human, first homosapien. At least there's originality. Or the Chief Lamer.

Anyway, my current projects in Lame Isles is to establish the date on which Lame Isles was formed. So far, I've had some clues and stuff to the period when it was formed. At least I know that it was formed on a Tuesday, Wednesday or a Thursday (Math Lessons Days without Mr Heng). And was it Trig that we were learning at that time? And remember the Campaign badge that I had which was modelled after the Drug Abuse badge? I can also remember Beyonce's Crazy in Love and Stacie Orico's There's gotta be (more to life) during that time. So maybe Wei Yi and Evan can provide me with more clues...

Lastly, I've just been informed that Justin has been kidnapped. As all the international leaders of the world today, I will not give in to the demands of international terrorists. I have already sent 10, 000 goblins from out Home Security Team (just formed today) to search for Justin, but will NOT give in to these villians.

Thank you, good night and God Bless!

P.S. Sean's fight against GPK will be supported by Lame Isles. Diplomatically.

FAX REPORT: JUSTIN HAS BEEN ADBUCTED BY AL COMPAEDA TERRORISTS.
LAST MESSAGE: "He...lp...Bzzzz...These thi-ing..s! Bzzzzzzzzzzz..." END OF MESSAGE
LAST BLOG: - It looks like LOTR crew is going to be taking on the role of managing the LIM and LIB. Here is just a glimpse of one of them working really hard:



Hmm? What's that noise? Something's movi -
END OF BLOG

howdy y'all.. wei yi has kinda brought up a gd point. those wanting to get into lameisles shd sign up.. feel free to. if you don't think you're lame enough.. well, talk to me! what's the minister of education here for? sure my lameness will eventually start to irritate you..but who cares? =P it's all part of being lame. [don't worry wheelchairs are provided. get it? doh some of uall are so BO-RING -.-" lame also = cannot walk.. get it? (hey maybe we can put tt in the sub-heading.. "wheelchairs provided")] i'll be setting up a booklet on how to be super lame. =)[tt is.. if i have the time.. but i'll try my best =)]

good day 2 all the lamers.

did the president himself send a report to the National Treasury about pay increase. we have to take into consideration our yearly revenue, electrical bills, security bills, overseas phone call bills (to czech rep) etc etc. and also we dun wan the citizens complaining that their ministers r getting 2 much. for eg. there is dis little red spot near malaysia wif many PAP members getting 2 much salary.

but since the president has already announced it. i shall not put him in a difficult position. 5% it shall be then....if the president deems fit. i shall haf 2 make sure our economy improve sumhow.

i haf nothing left 2 say abt the first lady thing. i tink enuff emphasis haf been put on it. wanna ask though, if u were at sji bus-stop 2day arnd 2.30pm, nicole? i thot i saw u there. as for the weather girl, we shall let the flirtatious and perverse justin decide. but if u ever get abduct arwen. pls share wif me. lolz. oops. ahem ahem. it is none of my business. ahem ahem

i oso nid 2 announce dat i haf chatted wif the CEO of Clear Notes Technology (Subash himself). met him on MSN. he has found a hybrid tree which would b able 2 manufacture clear notes. how pleasant. he has oso agreed 2 shared his technology. howeva there is 1 bad point abt the clear note. it cant b seen. dat is why the KKK leader of Andrew n Co. has agreed 2 help. he is going 2 sumhow help make it visible to lamers with the help of the curse of the white pearl.

n oso i 4got 2 say dat the $1.35 we spent on buying 1 UOL share, its value has went up. to abt $2.48 when the market close dis afternn. but we shall still hold coz we r not in nid of $. coz the clear note currency conversion rate is $0 to 1 clear note. hence, we shall juz hold the share n maintain gd bonds wif UOL. n own 0.001% of it.

thank u. i haf rabbled 4 quite sum time. tym 2 slp. or mayb catch up on sum undone wrk.

Hey all. So I guess our massive campaigning doesn't seem to have gotten a lot of support from those who are new to the Lame Isles World.

Next, Wei Yi and his First Lady nonsense. I must say that Wei Yi has very cleverly defended himself. With all that crap about the first lady to enter the country. Though according to Dictionary.com, First Lady means 'The wife or hostess of the chief executive of a country, state, or city.' In this case, Nicole is not. So Wei Yi is actually wrong. Yes, speech wise she was the 'first' lady. You said 'I formally declare, that Nicole Dorville, will be the new First Lady of Lame Isles.', and this is a false and wrongful claim. She was the first lady, not the First Lady. So, yay, Wei Yi was wrong.

Next, also Wei Yi. I would like to thank you for all your work in this country and do regret the loss of a capable and cunning minister like you. I will support your decision to retire, but I hope that you will continue working until we find a suitable successor for you.

Lastly, the question on citizenship. Those who were in the MSN meeting just now would know what I'm talking about. Therefore, I once again ask this questions:
1. Should we accept non-ministerial citizens?
2. How many should we accept?
3. What criterias are needed for them to be accepted?

Those who want a 5% raise in their salaries, do send in a report to the Presiden't Office on the above questions.

Habit No. 3: Put First Things First.

Hi all, [wow tt's so formal] well unless uall want me to go WATZUP FOLKS then well that's all i can think of. Erm i agree with Sean. I'm wasn't brought here to be a bimbo. And erm, dun get uncomfortable or treat me different just because i'm a girl. I work well with both genders. But that's a different issue altogether.
Um.. I'd just like to say that i'm glad this war is over and that i've finally finished procrastinating n handed in the form ^_^. I'll TRY to do my best, n try please the rest. =) heh.

Finally, Nicole has decided to send in her application for a post. It has been accepted by the EXCO, and thus, she will be the Minister for Education, educating the public and scholars on how to be lame.

Personal Response: OMG. Another few posts for me. This gossiper is going to be a rather busy one i suppose. Anyway, 1st things first. I DEFINITELY need a weather girl. By hook or by crook. It's ok if nicole isnt the one since as sean says, she's trained to be a lamer and not a weather girl. I can get a pixie or something or maybe abduct arwen and force her to be one. LOL. Bout the mint and the bank, i am going to set up a poll system and feel free to choose your pick. I already have some votes for LOTR crew and another for fairies. But that doesnt mean the gringotts goblins have no chance. It all depends on YOU.

A very very very good evening to Lamers and all. Tonight will be a very significant night. Not the Night of Long Knives though. Before I make my grand announcement, I shall now some new written rules to make our country's government a more efficient one.

Firstly, our country's official name is the 'Federation of Lame Isles'. Secondly, as President, I am also the commander-in-chief of the Lame Isles army. This army (currently non-existent) will be set up as soon as possible for the safety of our nation.

I have decided that Justin will be in charge of our Homeland Security. Therefore, Justin will have to set up a police force (made up of goblins, elves, hobbits, wateva). This police force will be part of the MOLA, or the Ministry of Lame Affairs, which Justin will head. This Ministry will oversee the rights, security etc. of the Lame Isles citizens. I have also come up with a new rule that the giving of posts, jobs and marital status can only be done with the approval of the MOLA and the EXCO aka. Executive Committee aka. the President. These moves have been made due to the recent events in which some people (cough, cough) have taken too much power into their own hands, and declared more than they should. Very often, when one declares more than he shoulds, he talks nonsense. Unfortunately, this was the case then.

Next, I would like to address Mr Evan Yeo. Evan has finally joined our Blogging Team, and thus will be given the Post of Mayor of Central Lame Isles, and the Foreign Affairs Minister. His home, for those who don't know, is on one of the Central Lame Isles River's (which splits East and West Lame Isles) volcanic islands. As you know, the River between the east and the west has been 'growing'. From just 0.5 m when Lame Isles was founded, to close to 150 m today. In addition, islands have sprung up. The biggest one of them in the center of the River, Presidential Island, is the island on which my Clear House is built. Therefore, Evan will be the mayor of the many such little islands, linked together by Submarine MRT Lines, bridges, and sky bridges.

In conclusion, if Lame Isles were to survive thousands of years, the generations to come would then say 'This was their finest moment.' With this, I shall declare LAME ISLES PEACE!

i shall be the 2nd to break the trend then. what a NICE day it is today aint it? bombs r yet 2 b fired (gd news). oh well there has been so much going on i duno which to address first.

I would prefer it very much if we do NOT attack czech republic. i really do not see why we should waste human resources on attacking such a wonderful and peaceful young nation. after all, it was juz formed after WW1.

next, having a weather girl would b essential i feel. but i tink dat we should get a bimbo 2 fill this position. the lame isles academy haf not spent so many precious years training up nicole juz 2 b a weather girl.

howeva, whether nicole wans 2 b the first lady. it aint my problem. its hers n eahy's. n not wei yi's problem. but oh well i better not offend wei yi b4 he starts thinking of bombing up my small little cottage (dats where i stay!)....

n it is rather rude of u justin to barge into my office without my approval and have a look at all the proposals that we given to me for the LIM. i tried 2 call the police at 999LAME n realised it was ur number so i had 2 search the telephone directory b4 i found out dat Lame Isles dun haf a police station at all. so i shall haf to take things in2 my own hands.

anyway i support that we should conduct a poll. i vote for the Shire. i would get to c Arwen more often then. those hot lips. wooo....(not as hot as sum1 else's tho) lolz.

as for the war thingy. if it continues anymore our tourism industry would b very badly affected. revenue down. standard of living down. so we should declared Lame Isles Peace (LIP). juz my opinion. after all wei yi has gathered lots of attention oredi. i tink.

Smilez,
BlazingWinter