Wishing everyone a Happy New Year...

How would I know whether it is expensive or not?

And remember, Parliment on 8 January. Every Saturday 9:30pm.

Nicole has 'Nic by Nicole'
Wei Yi has 'The Wei Yi'
Why isn't there a brand of clothes called 'eahy'?

Jail

Jail is nice.
I'm off. Have fun eahy!

Wiggo will be allowed to leave jail anytime she wants. Cheers.

Dear Lamers and Friends,

I would firstly like to express the wish that my name, eahy, be spelt in completely lower caps rather than 'EAHY', as 'eahy' looks nicer. So, please remember, it's 'eahy', not 'EAHY'. Furthermore, 'eahy' seems more human.

Another name I would like to clarify would be ‘Taufik’. He would like to be known just as ‘Taufik’. At least that’s what I heard from Perfect 10.

Next, the elephant issue. I was filled with grief and sorrow when I saw the accusing finger that the VPM pointed at me. I was wrongfully accused. He assumed that I had posted the picture of the elephant without prior discussion with Charissa, which is absolutely untrue. I present the audience with evidence recorded by 'MSN Messenger Plus!'.

The Following is an excerpt of the Conversation between myself and Charissa on 9/12/04, after she returned from Thailand.

[20:39:14] eahy [Keep C: so how's my elephant?
[20:39:28] ..[??a?????: need to get used to the uh....typing
[20:39:29] ..[??a?????: haha
[20:39:31] ..[??a?????: i got a pic?
[20:39:34] ..[??a?????: does that help?
[20:39:39] eahy [Keep C: Ooohh...
[20:39:43] eahy [Keep C: okay okay
[20:39:55] eahy [Keep C: so cool
[20:40:07] eahy [Keep C: i shall blow it up and put it in my palace
[20:40:19] ..[??a?????: LOL
[20:40:20] ..[??a?????: hmm
[20:40:26] ..[??a?????: i need to uh uplaod e,
[20:40:31] eahy [Keep C: okie okie
[20:40:36] eahy [Keep C: is it big?
[20:40:42] eahy [Keep C: or u can put on lame isles
[20:40:43] ..[??a?????: hahaha
[20:40:47] ..[??a?????: cuteeee oneeeee
[20:40:47] ..[??a?????: lol
[20:40:55] eahy [Keep C: hold on ah
[20:41:03] eahy [Keep C: u r not added to the lame isles team yet
rite
[20:41:15] ..[??a?????: i am
[20:41:21] ..[??a?????: but i'd rather send it to u
[20:41:22] eahy [Keep C: u r...
[20:41:24] eahy [Keep C: okay
[20:41:25] eahy [Keep C: cool

Now, I am not denying the fact that posting the picture was purely my idea, but this evidence supports my case that I had in fact discussed the issue of uploading the picture of the elephant with Charissa before uploading it. After reading thes excerpt, perhaps I was wrong to assume that Charissa had sent it to me so that I could upload it as she found it too troublesome to upload the picture herself. For this failure to appropriately comprehend Charissa's words, I apologise to all parties involved, both directly and indirectly. Sorry, Charissa, Thai person in the picture, Thai elephant in the picture, person who took the photo (if not Charissa herself), Wei Yi and Zhuang Mao. I think that should be it. For all those who were not mentioned but feel that I should apologise to you, sorry.

Next, in response to the efforts of JianLong to be a DJ, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to him for starting a new radio station, the first in fact, for Lame Isles. I have listened to his Station and I love it very much, apart from the fact that I asked for 'I Dream by Taufik and Sly', but got 'I Dream by Sly' instead. Aslo, as suggested by the VPM, I think that you should shift your Radio Station to the Lame Isles Official Chronicles so that people can enjoy reading the Chronicles and listening to your Station at the same time.

Also, in response to JianLong's efforts to be promoted from a Junior Minister for a Senior Minister, I think that everyone will agree that some people of Higher Government, or the Senior Council, are even less active than people of the Junior Council. Therefore, I appeal to everyone out there to help me think of a democratic and meritocratic (newly-invented word) way of electing people to be Senior Ministers.

Next, I would like to alert all Lamers and friends of Lame Isles that we now have an online group, at groups.msn.com/lameisles, courtesy of MSN. I invite all Lamers and friends to send in your applications to join the Group, and urge all to participate in the Groups actively. This will be a good way of recording down all the messages posted by Lamers, and we can have better discussions on issues through the MSN Group.

Next, regarding the Polls. It is really interesting to see the results and the fanatical voters casting their votes. So I say to you all, Vote on, Vote on!

Lastly, I would like to go on to the issue of my Presidential powers and the jailing of Ms Wiggo egiew. I have two pieces of evidence that Ms Wiggo herself had in fact asked for herself to be put behind bars.

The Following is an excerpt of the Conversation between myself and Ms Wiggo egiew on 9/12/04, recorded by 'MSN Messenger Plus!'.

[22:39:31] wg. : presenting the miss nanyang of 2004...
[22:39:39] wg. : Mister [miss?:S] EAHY!
[22:39:40] eahy [Keep C: ........
[22:39:49] eahy [Keep C: defaming the president
[22:39:54] wg. : *applause
[22:39:54] eahy [Keep C: i cld jail u for tt u noe
[22:39:54] wg. : HAHA
[22:40:05] wg. : well i don't mind
[22:40:05] wg. : it will be fun
[22:40:13] wg. : then i shall appeal like mad
[22:40:15] eahy [Keep C: haha
[22:40:20] eahy [Keep C: okie then
[22:40:28] eahy [Keep C: i shall jail u as of 5 minute time
[22:40:38] wg. : haha ! okay i'm honoured

Also, Ms Wiggo has posted a message on the Lame Isles MSN Group on 13/12/2004, at 19:09, saying 'jail's kinda cool, wanna stay here :)'.

These two pieces of evidence show that Ms Wiggo had asked to be jailed herself, and even felt that being jailed was 'honourable' and 'cool'.

In response to Wei Yi saying that he will jail me, I think that that is not possible as only the Parliament or the Judicial Branch of Government can jail me. Being in the Supreme Branch of Government with me, you have no power over me. I must write the Constitution one day. Anyway, from now onwards, I shall stop imprisoning people without trial, unless it is in accordance with the Internal Security Act. Secondly, I would also like to point out that 'authoritarian' means 'strictly forcing people to obey a set of rules or laws that are often wrong or unfair' but 'monarchy' means 'the system in which a country is ruled by a king or queen'.

Even so, I have decided that since I have sentenced people to jail without trial, I shall now experience life in jail my self.

Therefore, with effect from the time of the publishing of this message, my address for the next two and a half weeks will be 'Cell 435, High Security Complex G, Lame Isles Central Prison'. I will release myself on 3/1/05 so that I can go back to SJI to complete my last year of Secondary schooling.

I now address the issue of the identity of the true Ironman. I do not dispute the fact that Trent is the Ironman Lasalle Singapore, but Shi Wei is unique as he is Iron(2.67)Man. He is anti-rusting and is the only living source of Iron(2.67).

As for the issue of defence of our nation, I would like to assure Zhuang Mao that Lame Isles is protected by a security bubble not unlike the one used to protect Wyeth (Pardon the spelling, MoM) in Charmed, and the one seen in The Incredibles. The production paper planes and paper naval fleet are to a large extent quite unnecessary, but are just an extra precautionary measure. I would like to reassure Zhuang Mao and Binni that Lame Isles is a land blessed with all sorts of natural resources and elements ready to be mined and used for manufacturing purposes. As for the workers needed to produce the armaments, Lame Isles uses robots to man our factories. For further information you may wish to contact the Minister of Lame Power (both energy and manpower), Edwin.

Regarding the Royal Retardees’ embassy, I too am very happy about it. However, in the aspect of ULO (United Lamers Organisation), I am not too sure if I can say the same thing. The last time I checked the Official Website of the Legion of Lameness, I spotted some cobwebs. It seems as though they have not updated it for months. I have also made an effort to carry out dialogue with Fabian Koh, self-proclaimed founding father of Lamenology, a branch of ‘Being Lame’ that he claimed runs in the Koh family. I will try to follow up on this soon.

Once again, I would like to thank Zhuang Mao for his compliments, criticisms and efforts in making Lame Isles a better place. I agree with VPM, and if Zhuang Mao agrees, he shall be the President’s Zealous Mentor.

Thanks also to Wei Yi for his encouragement to Zhuang Mao and I during our CCA Hike. Thanks also for always upkeeping the Official Chronicles, answering questions and creating new polls.

I was just thinking about this recently, and I feel that ‘I Dream’ should be made into a National Song. Not a National Anthem, but a National Song. After all, it has all the elements of the spirit of a good Lamer. Daring to dream, believing in your dreams, believing in yourself, having a strong spirit, pride, breaking the barriers of race and financial stauts, being a hero, never-say-die attitude, looking beyond winning and losing etc. etc.

I hope that this can be taken to a vote during Parliament. Perhaps it would be good if we could hold a Major Parliament Session some time after Christmas and try to get as many Lamers into the Session as possible

Before I go, I would like to wish all Lamers and friends the best of luck for this Festive Season, and also the best of luck in preparations for the New Year.

Hail Lamerism!

Dear Lame Isles.

I would like to take this chance to address various issues.

To Jian Long, our beloved minister of Rust. It is my belief that your efforts at rusting had gone un-noticed due to the fact that you had not reported progress and new methods of Rusting. Furthermore, it would help to rust other areas other than yourself, such as the trees in certain areas. Therare also other meaning of rust. Look at these.

1.Deterioration, as of ability, resulting from inactivity or neglect.
2.Botany.
Rust fungus.
A plant disease caused by a rust fungus, characterized by reddish or brownish spots on leaves, stems, and other parts.
A strong brown.

Regarding the minutes, and the meetings. I would not go so far as to say that they are useless, but until a larger porportion of the government officers stop boycotting the meeting, the meetings do not represent the interest of everyone. For example, some people turn backwards when they leave the desk, via either a clockwise or anticlockwise moment. Furthermore, you neglected the fact that turning right could be either by a clockwise moment or anticlockwise movement. My point is that with a larger portion of the officers present, there could be synergy and thus making a product that is far greater than the sum of the individual. For the details of the minutes, I shall not comment too much as it is not my place to do so.

About defence. The efforts at getting a gardener to protect and grow more trees such that there would be a higher yield of wood so as to have a greater output of paper so as to make more planes are admirable. Yet, i would like to point out that there is a bottle neck other than supply of wood. In other words, there are other limiting factors. For example, there seems to be an absence of a place to convert wood into paper. There is also a lack of manpower to create, and use planes. Furthermore, I do not like the idea of having just planes to protect the state. Having new addition would increase the acture level of security. Showing them off would be a great deterance. It is in my interest to see new systems on the blog page soon.

To Wei Yi and Darrick. It is indeed a fact that few pay any notice to the polls. I am glad that you have placed much efforts in putting the polls on the front page. Hail Miss Boon. Your well wishes for our hike is greatly appreciated.

To the Presidents, and Vice Presidents, of the past and present. I thank you for your efforts in answering any questions. It seems like you will have an excellent future in the customer service/relations line.

To Charissa. I do wish that it was you rather than EAHY who posted the picture. It would be good to see efforts in rebuilding, restoring, and reinovating the zoo.

To EAHY. I believe that Trent is the true Iron Man Laslle Singapore. He should have displaced Shi Wei by now. Also, your skills in coordinating is indeed commendable. I am also proud to say that you had made an effort to have an embassy for other nations. I hope to see more of such excellent diplomatic relationship. I belief that there would be an ambassador soon. On a heavier note, I hope that master Wiggo had been given a fair trial. I hope to see evidence of that soon, perhaps of the courts proceedings. Furthermore, it is strange to post the deframation of yourself rather than to keep it a secret. Strange, but perhaps good.

To Wiggo. Whoever you are, I believe that you will be able to come up with a defination soon. However, it is your choice if you refuse to in an effort to potest and demostrate. Yet, if there was a fair trial, then it is my hope that you would go with it. Leave the potesting and criticising to me.

To Lame Isles. I hope that this would help you to grow in faith and truth. Take heed and change what I had pointed out. Yet, I am concerned that it is not sufficient. Keep up the good work in causing the recent success. I hope that every word would mean a lot to you all as I have only written a short letter [quote Hebrews 13:(End)].

Yours Truly
P{ZM}

Announcement:

Ministress Wiggo egiew has been sent to Lame Isles Central Jail for defaming the President. She has pleaded guilty to calling the President 'Miss Nanyang of 2004' (How dare she!), and falsely acknowledging him as 'an exclassmate from NY', rather than the exclassmate from RVPS (River Valley...River Valley...River Valley Primary SChoooool....lalala). She will be kept there until she can think of some definations for 'Lamerism'.

Yay. Charissa has brought back an elephant. For those interested in seeing my pet, come to the Lame Isles Presidential Palace Gardens! 

hello all lamers. BOO! did i scare you? haha... SPREAD LAMERSIM!!! that's what i am gonna do at KL... wheeeee....

This is the Embassy for the Royal Retardees, designed by Chief Architect Charissa. Construction will begin if the Royal Retardees like it. Note: The embassy will be pink, with lots of flora and fauna around it, including a sound proof forest, and a lake. 

Excuse me, please get this right.
Nicole is The First Lady, meaning that she was The First Lady to enter Lame Isles, NOT the president's wife.
Anyway, JianLong, I think you can look for Foo Shi Wei aka. Iron man (Fe 2.67). His iron is very strong and non-rusting, and he can make a pair of Fe2.67 gloves for you to use when you are typing.

YAY
there should be a cause for celebration, for lame isles is alive once again!
*looks around for the embassy in vain* okay now I'm officially the citizen of two countries, the Land of the Royal Retardees and Lame Isles!

all heil lameness and retardedness
rid the world of all traces of intelligence and sensibility... they are outdated...

Dear Binni,

It's good to see that we have a Security Level Guage. Don't worry, I will not allow any herbivours or tree eaters near your base. And I will look for the National Gardener. You can reccomend them to me too.
Another thing, I would like you to help me find The Incredibles. I think their Incredibly Incredible powers can help boost the defence of our country.

Yours sincerely,
eahy

Dear Wei Yi,

I write to you to clarify the doubts you had over the minutes.

1.1 I wrote: Vice President Menthos Gan Wei Yi has been warned AGAIN not to talk nonsense about the Ministress of Education Nicole Dorville and the President Eugene Ang as his nonsense may be interpreted wrongly by the Ministress' boyfriend, and this could result in serious jeopardy of the President's safety.
You Wrote: Its common knowledge that the President is always the First Lady's wife, not a "Ministress' boyfriend". But that's common knowledge, there's always exception to it, but I am not too sure if Lame Isles is an exception. Maybe the President should confirm it himself.
My Reply: If I am not wrong, you misread 'by' as 'as'. What I meant to say was that I did not want to give Nicole's boyfriend the wrong idea. As for the exception you talk about, I think you should refer to a post that you made yourself on Tuesday, July 06, 2004, at 4:33pm. In the post, you said 'Nicole is theoratically the First Lady, as also agreed by the President himself. Nicole, being the first lady to step into the Lame Isles government, should be deem with the prestigious title of "First Lady" with honour. She can be the minister also, but First Lady still sounds better.' I think that should answer your question.

1.2 The statement was first proposed by Yee Jia Hao, to which you replied 'see? jia hao makes the most sense'.

3.2 & 5.1.1: I'm sorry that I did not add those as I found that quite trivial.
5.2.3: It was declared as of the posting of the minutes. I will, in future, put such declarations in the 'Annexe'

Yours Sincerely,
eahy

Lastly, I'm looking for a National Gardener and a Sports Minister. Also, Charissa's addtional posts are Chief Architect and Builder. She has lots of talents in these areas. I will upload her plan for the Embassy for the Retardees ASAP.

Greetings all lame citizens. It would be a rare event that the defence Minster of LI (yours truly) is giving his speech (entry) so please pay a lot of attention.

Due to the lack of paper to make paper planes, which makes up the LIAO, i have decided that all herbivores and whatever paper-eating creatures are not allowed to come near my air base. I repeat, all herbivores and whatever paper-eating creatures (including all vegetarians) are not allowed to enter or come near the LIAO's air base. So that to prevent any loss of the LIAO's paper plane force.

I also would like to propose to his lame excellency the president to find a tree planter or national gardener so that he or she can plant more trees so as to boost the production of more papers, which will directly increase the growth of production of paper planes so as to bring our defence level higher to code: 'i dno'. Yes. To code 'i dno'. Ahh yes, this reminds me to introduce the new codes that the defence ministry has thought of to represent our nation's safety level:

‘haha’ : ‘haha-I-can-destroy-LI’

‘okae’ : ‘okae-maybe-can-bomb’

‘I dno’ : ‘I-dno-how-dangerous-it-is-to-bomb’

‘no.’ : ‘no.-waste-bomb’

Our present state, as u can see from the chart is code ‘okae’, which is quite a dangerous level to be in as it could jeopardize the safety n survival of LI.

That’s all for the day. N thank you who ever it is for answering my inquiry of what LI in chinese is. Yes, leng daos forever. -salutes-

Here is a summary of the Parliment Session held on 2/12/2004 (Supporter by MSN Messenger)

Attendance:
President Eugene Ang
Vice President Menthos Gan Wei Yi
Ministress for Education Nicole Dorville
Junior Minister for Rust Yong Jian Long
Professor Yee Jia Hao (Head of Mathematicalism Dept, University of Lame Arts)
Newly Appointed Chief Architect, Junior Ministress for Cleanliness (aka. Road Sweeper) Charissa Chen

Parliment commenced at 17:14:56 (Lame Isles Standard Time) with the arrival of the President.

Agenda
1. Nonsense
2. Penang
3. Saint Tosa
4. New Lamer
5. Any Other Lame Business

1. Nonsense
1.1 Vice President Menthos Gan Wei Yi has been warned AGAIN not to talk nonsense about the Ministress of Education Nicole Dorville and the President Eugene Ang as his nonsense may be interpreted wrongly by the Ministress' boyfriend, and this could result in serious jeopardy of the President's safety.
1.2 It has been agreed that the best thing for Wei Yi to do is to 'just shut up'.

2. Penang
2.1 Nicole is joining us live from a Penang cybercafe because her 'dad has allowed her to use the computer'.
2.2 Eugene commented that this is lame, but indeed, Nicole is a lamer.
2.3 Wei Yi is so intelligent that he knows that Nicole is coming back to Singapore on 4 December.
2.4 Wei Yi is praised for his intelligence.
2.5 Nicole is being stalked by Jian Long but she does not want to hug him.
2.6 Souvenirs such as rice writing are popular in Penang.
2.7 We should take this opportunity to spread Lamerism in Penang and even to Thailand.

3. Spreading Lamerism to Saint Tosa
3.1 Eugene has spread lamerism to the island of Saint Tosa.
3.2 Wei Yi calculated that the amount of energy used is about 500J.

4. New Lamer
4.1 Charissa Chen was tested for Lamerism during the Parliment Session.
4.2 The President testified that Charissa is lame as she participated in the Mega-project on Saint Tosa - the building of the sandpalace of Saint Tosa.
4.2.1 The sandpalace was indeed a real team effort which everyone participated in, so as to create a lame palace.
4.3 In light of her abilities (designing and building) and her wishes (to be a road sweeper), the President declares that she will be both Chief Architect and Junior Ministress for Cleanliness.

5. Any Other Lame Business
5.1 Turn Left or Turn Right.
5.1.1 Wei Yi claimed that everyone turns right when leaving their computer desk.
5.1.2 This has been proven incorrect because Jia Hao turns left, Eugene turns left turns right, and Nicole turns left turns right.
5.2 Spongebob Squarepants
5.2.1 The trailer for the Spongebob Movie is out. It can be found on http://www.nick.com/all_nick/movies/spongebob/trailers.jhtml
5.2.3 Spongebob Squarepants has been declared as the Official Cartoon of Lame Isles.
5.3 Is the President Slack?
5.3.1 Wei Yi commented that the President is very slack, and always leaves early but arrives late.
5.3.2 Eugene defended himself by saying that it is only right since he is so busy (e.g. typing minutes)

Parliment ended at 17:48:24 with the departure of the President.

Minutes recorded by MSN Plus, edited and typed by President Eugene Ang.